GET THE DUSTPAN. THE CUBS ARE IN TOWN.

CUBS-SWEEP-AGAIN

The Cubs and Padres have been postponed, so let’s talk about brooms.

This sweep thing the Cubs have going is getting monotonous. First it was the Reds, then the Brew Crew, followed by the Pirates. And yesterday it was the Nats — the mighty Bryce Harper Nationals. Each and every one of ’em broomed by the Cubs. Yeah, yeah … there were a couple of rain outs in there. Still, I’m thinkin’ Ricketts oughta consider hiring a witch to fly over Wrigley and skywrite “Surrender (team name here)” during the last game of a home stand. It’d make for an awesome promotion, and would be fantastic optics for Hillary Clinton. Hold your water there, snowflake. Before you Hillary lovers get all micro-aggressioned and try to have me water-boarded, I’ll also point out, while we’re skippin’ down the yellow brick road, that the other candidate is in desperate need of a brain. There … Is everyone sufficiently triggered?

I digress.

The ‘sweep’ thing sounds a little cocky, I know. Especially since it’s so early. We’re also Schwarberless, Montero is injured, and Bryant and Heyward are not 100%. Still, there’s definitely something in the water this year; some kinda special sauce or magic dust … or spinach maybe. Something that’s turned the Cubs into the baseball version of the Avengers. By the way, spinach flavored water? … Bleeeaaaaaacccckkkkk! Whatever it is, though, this has been one of the best 5 week stretches of my 55 years. There was that incredible thing with the missus and that medication snafu, but other than that, this is tops.

Anyway, enjoy it. I am.

Joe