I find it mildly ironic that the candy-assed St Louis Cardinal organization has banned Joe Maddon’s “Try Not to Suck” t-shirts from their ball park. Cardinals spokesman Ron Watermon said the word “sucks” is on a list of curse words forbidden to appear on clothing in … get this … “Busch” Stadium.

That’s right. “Busch.”

I think you know where I could take that, my friend, but I’m not as petty as Mr Watermon or whoever came up with their list. The word “suck” happens to be part of everyday language in America. It’s part of the jargon. So, Mr Watermon, while you’re un-wadding your delicate little panties, you should know that it doesn’t take on any meaning beyond “you’re no good at something” unless you have a sewer for a mind, or you also define what’s being sucked.

Hey, Watermon … I got a definition for ya.

I’d like to point out that Joe’s t-shirt 1) benefits a charity and 2) was nothing more than a motivational line uttered by Maddon when he called up Baez last year. That’s it. No filth, no crass, no micro-aggression thrown in the direction of the friggin’ Cardinals. I thought baseball men were supposed to be tough and gritty. Apparently not so much in St Louis. Oh, and before I drop the subject of what’s offensive and what isn’t, I think we should ask what’s worse: a t-shirt that says “Try Not to Suck” that raises money for Respect 90, Maddon’s charity that supports athletics for inner-city Chicago kids, or Busch Stadium, named for a company that produces just under half of all the beer sold in the United States. Now I could extrapolate some numbers on that for drunk drivers, alcoholism, obesity, lost productivity and generally asinine behavior, but that would take years and cost hundreds of lives. I think you get my point.

Did I mention that Budweiser tastes like crap? It does.

So, while Jason Heyward is pelted with racial slurs by the classy fans in Busch Stadium (asinine behavior, as previously mentioned, possibly induced by the swill that is Budweiser), the precious little ballerinas in the Cards’ front office are making sure no one is offended by a harmless blue t-shirt. (Also comes in red, and green; the color of envy, which is what the friggin’ Cardinals are feeling this year for the Cubbies.) Pathetic.

Joe